The safety of the womb recedes as you are propelled into a split world. One moment you are cocooned in oceanic bliss, One with all creation, no sense of separation whatsoever and then, bam!, a world appears. Cue bright lights, loud noises, a slap on the rear, a gasp for first breath, the feel of cold steel and the terror of disconnection. Expelled from Oneness, you have been ejaculated into a fragmented universe. Welcome, baby, to the world of form, the grand illusion, the ten thousand things.
Despite the shock entry, our connection to source is not fully severed because “trailing clouds of glory do we come from God who is our home”*. The glory that we are is gradually obscured by the budding ego and by about 12 months the journey from union to separation is well under way. The boa constrictor of an ego winds itself around your wholeness, squeezing out the godly spirit until only the pulp of persona remains. The ego completes its mission when we are around 3 years old and we no longer know who we are. Bereft of this sacred self-knowledge, it’s inevitable that we begin to feel lost and alone. The supreme, eternal identity manifest at birth has crawled under the carpet of our minds and become lost to us.
The ego is an image-making self, a solitary creature terrified of removing its many masks. The world, and especially Western society has given its blessing to this fragmented, contracted self we call the ego. What a mad world!
My research revealed that only Aha experiences can begin to heal your split self and restore some sanity.
Healing begins with insight, gifts of Aha moments. One such gift is to appreciate just how much we are run by a mind that specialises in self-sabotaging inner dialogue that makes us feel like crap. Let’s call these attack thoughts gremlins, habits of thinking that have become so automatic, we barely notice them. It’s only when we hold them up to the light of awareness that we can wake up to how poisonous they are and how they shrink our whole sense of being. Awareness is key to understanding how our gremlins affect our whole experience of living:
“My coach was encouraging me to reflect on the voice of the gremlin at the same time as exploring the feelings and sensations in my body. The “Aha” moment came as I saw the link between the gremlin and the body and mind response. I felt myself shrinking as I realised that this is too often my tendency” (J. Mc L., client)
Practices
Become aware of the gremlins lurking in the shadows of your own mind, keeping you stuck in the status quo of who you think you are. Note how they love to point out your weaknesses and failures. They are an ingrained mental habit that run you like a puppet until you WAKE UP and realise that you are doing this to yourself. This is how:
Whenever you are feeling resistance, fear, or backtracking and focusing on your limiting factors, then be warned, your gremlin has taken centre stage in the drama you call “you”. It tells you variations on the themes of “You are too stupid”, “It’s too risky”, “You’re not ready”, “You’re not equipped”, “You should be stronger”, “They won’t like it if you . . .”
Gremlins appeal to our sense of reason and their “advice” often sounds like constructive analysis: “I’ll be more productive if I wait until Monday”, “I have to earn a living after all”, “I should give xx more consideration”, “No need to be hasty”. They don’t care about your values but make your life a misery if they see that you are not following them: “You’re spineless”, “No follow through”, “Give it up”.
Gremlins can’t stand too much scrutiny, so bring them out of the shadows and get to know him / her / them intimately:
When does he / she / it show up?
How, exactly, does it make you feel?
What does it look like?
What is the name of your gremlin?
Draw / sculpt / make a collage of it /. Write a poem or letter about it.
List the common statements that it tells you.
What is the tone of its voice?
Count the number of times it appears to you this week.
Treat yourself to a great little book called “Taming your Gremlins: A Guide to Enjoying Yourself” by Richard Carson or watch him on youtube.
The trick is to just observe, very gently and with simple curiosity without judgment the nature of your gremlins, or attack thoughts. Is it possible to stand back and simply watch them? If so you’ll derive huge self-awareness.
So commit to smashing through the shell of the ego by drenching yourself in Aha moments. Like a baby bird pecking its way out of its shell, each Aha moment breaks through your wall, taking you closer to the freedom that lies beyond it. And from there you can take flight. All you need do is take on board the ideas set forth in these articles about your ego mind and you will begin to transform your life.
Wordsworth